Saturday Morning - It Must Be Time For Soooouuuuuul Train!

It is my sincerest hope that the Bump might someday make a spectaular return to the world dance scene.

Burn, baby, burn...




If you forgot the steps, let James show you how (his Robot reminds me of Christine's)

Como Se Dice "Silly Mommy" en Espanol?

The kids are always asking me how to say certain words in Spanish - this video totally struck a cord. Other than "cierra la pueta, por favor" and "preguntas?"(close the door, please; and questions?) - this guys covers the extent of my 3 semesters of Spanish.

Babs - I totally find myself singing the songs your mom taught us to remember Arabic. I think we need to make a video! You game?

What A H-2-HO!

Celine Dion uses 6.5M (that's MILLION) gallons of water a year at a Florida home she doesn't even live in!!

We've got all these Music and Film industry types preaching us to death about global warming, and this cheast-beating horse-face feels entitled to use 100x more water than the average Florida resident.

Y'all can kiss my big white carbon footprint!
(by y'all, I mean all the G4 flying, water guzzling, big car driving hypocrites I see on the t.v. everyday telling me what I'm doing wrong. DO YOU REMEMBER when Sheryl Crow suggested that we all use use one sheet a toilet paper to save the environment? She can for sure kiss my @ss! - after it's been wiped with one sheet of toilet paper)

"Give me all your water or I'll go on tour again"

"I Was Riding On The Backs Of Lambies" and Other Funny Things I've Heard

Funny things I've heard said in my house in the last few days:


"I was dreaming that I was riding on the backs of lambies (lambs); we rode on the backs of lambies all the way up to God; and he made me queen of the world; and then I married Tommy; he loves me you know" - o.k., trippy girl, where are you hiding the hallucinogens? Mommy needs a little somethin' somethin' to take the edge off


"I've got these two things down here; they're just like balls! What are they called?" - brains my son, those are your brains.


"Why is my butt so sweaty?" - because you are your father's child, you better get used to that feeling


"Yeah! We're havin' chicken-fried chicken for dinner!!!" - yep! with a side of apple-sauced apples and corn-on-the-cob corn


"Ooooh myyyyy goooooosh! Hoooow row-man-tic!" (Bridget exclaimed as mommy and daddy hugged) - how old are you? 12?! no more Disney movies for you (sadly, thats what amounts to romance these days).

Motivation

What motivates an almost six year old?

A twin brother who learned how to ride without training wheels 2 days earlier.


The thrill of sibling competition ... I can only imagine what the next 15 years have in store for me.


Let's hear it for Bridget!!!!


Way to go Girlie!!!!

(and this is only 5 days post leg cast - she must really want this)

Only The Good Die Young

Arrested Development was one of the funniest shows EVER!
I loved it from the first minute of the first episode.
I was so sad to see it taken off the air (I know, its been a while, but I still miss it
You can find full episodes www.hulu.com
I love Jason Bateman.

My Memorial Day Weekend in 250 Words

I hope you had a nice Memorial Day weekend.

GOD BLESS AMERICA

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My Memorial Day weekend in 250 words:
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Friday – Home from work WAY WAY too late, 10 minutes to get kids in baseball uniforms, make sandwiches, grab gloves and hats. Trip over cleaning ladies that were not supposed to be there (must improve foreign language skills), LET’S MOVE! Go to baseball game. 45 minutes of peace. Feed kids to make up for nutrition-less sandwich before game. Wash, book, and kids to bed. Make scrumptious dinner for hubby. Watch Talk Soup. Pass out. Saturday – Let Hubby feed kids. Walk 2 miles, weed, and mulch; training wheels off Sean’s bike (HOORAY!), LAUNDRY, feed kids, steal nap, grocery shop, feed kid (Bridget; Sean at hockey game with dad), read books, kids to bed. Husband watches hockey (Detroit won), I watch Forensic Files … make some notes. Sunday – Feed kids, walk 2 miles, LAUNDRY, make lots of food for bar-b-que, feed herd of kids (some my own), sit on porch, stare into space, prep remainder of food for dinner, feed herd of kids and adults (some my own), walk 2 miles, feed same herd of kids and adults again (why!?), watch Law and Order, pass out. Monday – Feed kids, walk 2 miles, LAUNDRY, play baseball, feed a herd of kids (some my own), trip to Target, herd of kids go to neighbor's (novel), sat in garden for 1 hour with hubby (nice), fed kids, bathed kids, read to kids, walked 2 miles, posted to blog, watched cheesy tv shows, passed out. Summary – constant laundry, no training wheels, everyone fed, 10 miles. Whew!
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..... O.k., I can only presume that I will watch cheesy tv tonight and then pass out ... and by pass out, I don't want anyone to think this is an alcohol induced passing out (sure, I may have had some wine/beer), but this is more of a "thank God the day is over" passing out.

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Like A Fish To Water

Sunday, May 25 I removed Sean's training wheels - just thinking he seemed ready. He was surprised to see his bike that way - but jumped on and never hestitated for one moment. I didn't hold the bike or try to steady it - he just took to it like a fish to water. He was SO EXCITED! "Look mom! Look, I'm doing it. I'm doing it". He is very proud of himself!!
Just a little while later, he rode his bike for the first mile of my walk.
Maybe I should have removed the training wheels a few months ago.

(o.k., so the fall at the end was no problem, he got right back up)

Art Can Take Many Forms

There May Be A Bidet In My Future

Hadn't considered it before.
... hmmm ... do I have enough water pressure for this?

Thank You Paul and Carolina

I had a great time!

Just some snapshots from the day.

Thanks again!!!

Someone Has Some E'Splaining To Do

We get so many emails like this every day, I have to begin to wonder -

Who is this "someone" you know that is "already using this product"?

What do they know about your anatomy (and how do they know it?) that would make them think you want to receive these emails 5 or 6 times a day?

Does the woman in this add look "happy surprised"? Or "darn it! surprised"?

What is on top of her head that has her partner so captivated?

Am I to belive that an ad with a "As seen on TV" sticker can be compatible with a "FDA approval" sticker?

The ad came with the following text:

Metal life by truck land total women. Major radio talk size summer. History can letter some choose excite.
Cold women present road stick record add. River refuse root poor particular weather dry. Team human hair happen reflect watch dream. Range paragraph wire wonder.
Warn thing together soldier teach pitch period letter month. Color asked happened doctor. Belong third vowel explain yard full story street ten showed. Level make record help thought."

Is this some kind of encryption?

What exactly are you up to? And with whom?

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Here's a little 411- if you want to satistfy my urge, do the laundry.

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Aw No! No, No, No, No, No!

Sick, twisted, or weird things I found today - and lucky you, I've decided to share

Exhibit #1:

Nobody enjoys doing a little Photoshop more than me, but this is just sick and twisted. The site is called ManBabies (don't ask what prompted me to go there in the first place). This just gives me the creeps.


Exhibit #2:


Dudes! Come! On! When you run out of rolling papers, use a coke can like the rest of the world!

Exhibt #3:

O.k, I guess I kind of get this one. Maybe not so weird.

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Exhibit #4:

No Shit?

BALLSTON SPA, New York (AP) - An upstate New York couple didn’t think a few bats in the attic were much of a problem when they were buying a house last summer.
Months later, they found out how wrong they were - when they discovered more than a ton-and-a-half of bat droppings up there.
Nick LaBoda and Jenna Caputo say a home inspector informed them about the bats. They called an exterminator, who told them to wait awhile before removing the bats because the babies were too young to fly.
Then they forgot about the bats - until they smelled a foul odor in January. When they checked the attic, they found dead bats and piles of guano.
An exterminator says hundreds of bats had been living in the attic, leaving behind 3,500 pounds of droppings.
It cost $25,000 to clean up the mess, and the couple’s insurance company wouldn’t cover it. They’re fighting it out in court.

Slow Me Down? No Way!

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Shame on my mommy for not posting pix of my cast sooner.

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PS - Mommy says I am no longer "Free to a good home" (whatever that means); but she says Sean is. Give her a ring if you're in the market.

10 Things You Wouldn't Put In Your Grocery Cart

O.k, let me see if I can come up with 10 - there's not much I wouldn't buy

1. anything that tastes, smells, or looks like coffee

2. pregnancy test - I'd have some splaining to do!

3. scrapple - the name says it all. Look, I may live here, that don't mean I've got to eat the native foods.

4. headcheese - come on! head! cheese! 

5. chitterlings (pronounced chitlins), tripe, or any of the lower intestinal junk - of all the things to eat, you wanna eat something that's already had poo in it?

6. anything that comes in suppository form - that's not how I roll

7. radishes - evil little roots

8.  I'd be embarrassed to be seen with certain itch creams - calomine (sp?) wouldn't be a problem - I guess any creams for the nether regions.

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10.

So, what's on your list?

1.

2.

3......

Mom, remember how every time the neighbor guy from across the street came over, you had just gotten home from the store and there were pads out on the kitchen counter? 

I guess that might be another list - Shit you own that you wouldn't want out on the counter when (your mom, your neighbor, your kids, ...) come in the house.

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Scored Some Face Painting Today

Face painting is like crack to kids.
They can't say no.
Its prolly a gateway to harder core stuff like wigs and sequins ... I think this is how Lisa, Fuzz, Sue, and I got hooked.

Contrast

click image to see larger

con·trast [v. kuh n-trast, kon-trast; n. kon-trast]
–noun
a striking exhibition of unlikeness.

The kids came home with flower arrangements they made for Mothers' Day.
Can you tell which one B made and which S made?
I knew the instant I saw them.

Happy Mothers day!

BTW - the card reads:

A mother's love is special
It cannot help but show,
Like flowers in a garden
Her loves makes children grow.


.... what does yelling do for 'em?

Katie 2008

This is a graduation card I made for my beautiful niece Katie with pix we took on our last trip to Michigan. I had the announcements printed on metallic paper - I hear they are gorgeous.

I was there the very moment this child took her first breath - and now she is graduating.

I would feel old just thinking about it - but her mom, my sis, is like SOOOOO much older than I am. She must really feel old!

Congratulations Katie!!!!!!

(you too Rara)

There’s A Hole In The Bottom Of The Sea

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There's a rat on a frog on a bump on a log ....

A mouse rides on the back of a frog in floodwaters in the northern Indian city Lucknow (Pawan Kumar/Reuters)

Free to Good Home

Seeking good home for six year old with hearing problem and soaking wet pink cast.

Eats well, partially house trained, loves sprinklers.



Available immediately.

Please call.

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Please! Call!

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Pabst Blue Ribbon Memories

"Bill Bramanti poses with a coffin he had specially made to look like a can of his favorite beer, Pabst Blue Ribbon, in Chicago Heights, Ill., on Saturday. While he doesn't need the coffin just yet, he's planning to use the casket as a cooler."

Now THAT is brand loyalty!

This is the second time in as many weeks that I have had a giggle about PBR.

I wonder if the Panozzo Bros. Funeral Home can make me a casket that looks like a can of diet Coke and a bag of Doritos....

To My Readers ... Both of You

I Never Cease to be Amazed

Seen on LOTD

I am once again amazed by what the world has to offer.

They have a link to "Products and accessories that promote good family fun and honor our hillbilly heritage."

When I lived in the midwest, I never considered myself a hillbilly.
My sister - sure. My brothers - without a doubt. But me? I think not!



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Join me?

How about some wine and the Carpenters

(see, I will still post some of my own images. That, btw, is an image of #3)

Rainy Days And Mondays

Anyone who really knows me, knows I L-O-V-E the Carpenters.

Its been one lovely experience after another today.

Join me in a little time with Karen.

I Believe An Explanation Is In Order

Why, despite the terrific volume of cookies I buy, are there never any pink cookies left?

I don't eat the chocolate; I'm ambivalent about the vanilla; but I got me a thing for the pink ones.

What kind of person eats all the pink ones?

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I Need A Lesson In Anatomy

After almost 12 full man years with no breaks, no casts, no stitches, no nuttin' - Bridget had to get a cast today. She does not have a break or anything; the Dr thinks it is inflammation of the navicular. Navicular? Exactly! I remember that the hip bone is connected to the leg bone (and various other anatomy stuff that interests me); but the navicular? So, for those like me, I give you the anatomy of the foot (Oh Lisa, I bet you are lovin' this one!):

As is my practice, I googled "inflammation of the navicular" to find this:

Avascular necrosis of the navicular (Kohler’s disease) is usually found in children aged about five. The presenting symptom is foot pain and on examination the foot is held slightly supinated and there is tenderness and swelling over the navicular. The condition resolves spontaneously; treat symptomatically. Severe symptoms may warrant rest in a plaster. Over the course of one to two years the blood supply is re-established and usually the navicular resumes its normal shape and size.

The Dr said she'll be find after 3 weeks in a cast.

I'm sure I'll have loads of fun details to share about bathing a dirty 6 year old whilst trying to keep a neon pink cast dry.

She worked me hard for lunch AND ice cream after the cast was on. Something tells me she is going to be very successful in life....

Leave her a "virtual cast signing" in the comments section.

(btw - Sean is really jealous of Bridget's cast)

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