The Kids Want A Cat - Actually, They Want Cats

Most people know I am a friend to the cat. 

Phil is o.k. about cats.

I loved my last cat Anteus (or Nana as he was called); Phil was o.k.'ish about Nana.

Probably because that cat did the following to Phil just about every morning.

If you've ever owned a cat...
by a62vw

Phil, will the kids ever get a cat(s)?

Delaware County's Wild Kingdom - I Felt Like Marlin Perkins

Marlin Perkins

I felt like Marlin Perkins today. It was a banner day for wildlife sightings. Today alone, I saw:

A fox - gotta love those bushy tails

A deer ran in front of my car (As A.K. always says "Its not if you will hit a deer, but when"

I always see these buggers (I could do with a whole lot less of these guys)

Today was my first ever beaver sighting (keep it clean)

These guys are so cute



(unlike Marlin's buddy Jim Fowler, I was not mauled by any animals)

Vodka Anything, Make It A Double

The Well Read Hostess posted the following thought provoking item on her blog today:

Things that make you want to drink gin straight from the cat bowl.

While gin makes me feel like my head will explode, lemme see what I got ...


Pulling up to pick your children up at camp, only to find one ripping the hair from the others head.

Sweeping and mopping the floors - on a Friday night - that have not been swept or mopped in far too long- and having your husband walk in the second you are done .. with his work boots on.

Going for a bra fitting, only to have the Macy's "expert" tell you "I really don't have anything that's right for you" ... and why is that? Its not like there are 3, or they are oddly located, or misshaped ...... and so goes my 30 year struggle with bras ...



O.k., lets get out the vodka

Glimpse A Garden Fairy

This is an older image from a visit to Winterthur's Enchanted Woods. It is the most beautiful children's garden I have ever seen. We caught a glimpse of a fairy ...

....

Sweetie - Guess What You Are Not Getting This Year For Your Birthday

Today I was blog surfing and stumbled upon the story of a woman, who upon realizing she had no gift for her husband's 40th birthday, promised to have sex with him every night for a year ... and then she wrote a book about it.

Sweetie, may I suggest you pen a list of (other) possible gift items you would like this year for your birthday?

Not for nuttin', but every night for a year seems .... excessive; wouldn't you agree?

I'd hate to promise something like that and either one of us not be able to deliver - I'm just sayin' ....
Plus, its not your 40th birthday.
And what if we did do it, then I'd have to write a book? When do I have time to write a book?




If it would make you feel any better, I'll buy you the book.

... But The Really Weird Part Is .....

O.k., did you here the story about the 5 feet washing ashore in British Columbia?

The first foot was discovered last summer by a person walking along the beach.
A few days later, another foot was found.
A third right foot were found Feb 8.
The fourth foot was found May 22.
About a mile away, the fifth foot — and only left foot, was discovered Monday morning.

So that is all super creepy; but here's what I think is the REAALLY weird part of the story:

per RCMP spokeswoman Annie Linteau "In the first four cases, we did not find any evidence the feet were severed," she said. "It's too early to say if this foot was severed."

Just double checking, but some form of English is spoken in B.C. - right?

'cause I'm no scholar I checked, and as I suspected, severed is defined as:

1. To set or keep apart; divide or separate.
2. To cut off (a part) from a whole.
3. To break up (a relationship, for example); dissolve

So if these feet were not severed, spokeswoman Annie Linteau, are feet being generated/grown on their own in the waters off Bristish Columbia?

Annie went on to speculate that perhaps these feet were from a plane crash.
Tell me Annie, how many plane crashes are occurring each year in and around B.C.?
Are you guys the new Bermuda Triangle?

5 FEET FLOATED UP WITHIN A YEAR'S TIME - ALL IN SNEAKERS.

You don't suppose that another body part - arm, finger, head, leg - might also float up if it was the result of a rash of plane crashes?

Annie also declined to speculate of foul play was involved .....

Notice, I managed to get through the whole post without using the "something's afoot" gag.

How 25 Years Can Change Your Perspective

At no time in 1984 did I think Billy Squier was gay, looked like Richard Simmons, or was a total lunatic ... but I do now!

I about died when I saw the dance move at 1:17 (he repeats it at 2:17).

And what's with the bad shirt collection - did he gets those in the 'tween section at K-Mart?

And for God's sake will someone PLEASE explain the symbolism of the clown face at 4:14?

I HATE CLOWNS!! I HATE CLOWNS!! I HATE CLOWNS!! I HATE CLOWNS!!

Sneakpeak for L.C.

Mr. A. is the cutest man.

I love this chubby little guy.

Miss A. was having a "day" when we went out for pix (I have 'em too), but look at those beautiful eyes

Whoreticulture

See Semen Tree

I may need another hobby.
How and why do I find this stuff?




.

An Open Letter To The Brazilian Consulate

First let me say - its my blog and I can bitch and moan about anything I like ... eh

Dear Brazilian Consulate,


Can you please explain why a person living outside Philadelphia can apply for and receive a business VISA in a few days; while a person from the Detroit area, travelling for the same company and purpose, must wait two weeks?


Do you fear people from the Chicago jurisdiction? Are they any more sinister, or dangerous to the Brazilian economy, than those of us from the New York jurisdiction?


Why are there extra forms, different forms, and additional letters required simply because a person lives near the windy city. Do you have something against wind? Is that it?

Do you have any concept of the f'ing around I am going to have to do with travel agency and credit card company to refund my current tickets before my automated travel expense system starts sending scud emails to my supervisor to say I am $5K past due?

Let's just say, being $5k past due can be a career limiting event. And I need no help in limiting my career.

Grounded In Glen Mills

PS - please don't cancel my VISA

From My Inbox

From my brother Matthew:

The Wal-Mart Cake

It took me a second, but make sure you read the story under the picture.

Okay so this is how I imagine this conversation went:

Wal-Mart Employee: 'Hello 'dis be Walmarts, how can I hep yous?'

Customer: ' I would like to order a cake for a going away party this week.'

Walmart Employee: 'Whats you want on da cake?'

Customer: 'Best Wishes Suzanne' and underneath that 'We will miss you'.

Just A Little Way Off Route 66 In Front Royal, VA

Is a piece of classic Americana - Dinosaur Land.

This place has cracked me up for the 15 years I've been traveling to Front Royal.

In fact, it's the major landmark I use - "Take a right or a left at Dinosaur Land?" sort of thing.

I didn't have a camera with me, so I have to thank my friend J.A. for snapping some pix with his camera phone.




From a review I found:
"Built in 1968, Dinosaur Land still stands as a reminder of an era filled with drive-ins, B-monster movies and a certain amount of innocence that allowed for us to stare in awe at life-sized fiberglass models. Today its lure is more for children looking for a place to play and adults still searching for that last bit of childhood. However, it has so much more to offer. Where else can you sit in the hand of the famous movie star King Kong for a mere $5.00? If you are inclined you can even climb inside a 60' shark, wrestle with a 70' Octopus or trade moves with a 14' preying mantis that looks like it walked right out of a set of a 1950's nuclear radiation movie. The park is a virtual warehouse of old sci-fi movie props just waiting to be photographed with you as the latest star. No need for computer generated imaging. It's just you and the "real thing" and there's no problem with copyright issues. In fact, photography is encouraged at no extra charge. Talk about a true time warp!
In addition to all the campy fun, you just might actually learn something. Parts of the park are actually educational. Information is posted near every model with interesting facts and descriptions of many lesser known creatures such as a Diatryma to more popular Mammoth and Sabre Tooth Tiger. Many animals are forever frozen in candid scenes from their daily lives such as the Pteranodon lodged in the tree branches overhead ready to swoop down upon its prey or the Brontosaurus craning its neck to nibble leaves from a high treetop. Even the depiction of the "Epic battle" between the meat eating Tyrannosaurus and the herbivorous Titanosaurus gets the basic message of "survival of the fittest" across to even the youngest of visitors.
In its day, Dinosaur Land was the promise of every child's imagination. Now it takes a bit of that same magic as well as a longing for childhood to bring the luster back to these somewhat aging characters. Though it's a bit tarnished from years of use, it is what it proclaims to be and nothing more. Signs warn that some of the dinosaurs are being repaired and that the weather has "been hard on the park"." review

Longwood Gardens

In keeping with our Fathers' Day tradition of letting dad have the day to himself, I took the kids to Longwood Gardens. They really love it there. Other than running into the occasional sketchy colleague from work (you can't swing a dead cat in this area without hitting a Duponter), the day was quite nice ... until Sean lost his sunglasses and then OH MAN! it was all over but the crying (and there was lots of that).
They have 3 giant tree house this year. The one above is the Canopy Catherdral, the one below is the Lookout Loft.

We ran into our friends Abby and Adam in the childrens' garden
Water drips down from a dragon's head and fills a pool, the kids think the fog is the coolest
It got a bit warm - and with all those fountains, what's a girl to do?
Last pic before he lost those sunglasses.

I haven't picked up my camera in weeks, I think I'm in a funk and my mind has been somehwere else. I hope we'll have more traditional Shooting Glen Mills images soon.

Happy Fathers' Day

Happy fathers' day to all the new dads, old dads, granddads, and stepdads; but especially to my Dad and my sweetie Phil.

Phil (look at that glorious hair!), Dad (with the Pharaoh's hat I bought him in Egypt), and me



They say that from the instant he lays eyes on her, a father adores his daughter. Whoever she grows up to be, she is always to him that little girl in pigtails. She makes him feel like Christmas. In exchange, he makes a secret promise not to see the awkwardness of her teenage years, the mistakes she makes or the secrets she keeps. author unknown


And for my long suffering husband, it will be breakfast in bed, cards and small gifts from the kids, and then they day to yourself. Enjoy sweetie!

It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't.

Barbara Kingsolver

(there is something terribly worng with my scanner! Ignore poor image quality)

Tadpoles No More

Edge of Pond

Tadpole, edge of pond

gracefully swimming brightly

waiting to grow up

Nelson Nieves - 2007

It looks like this will be our summer of firsts.
We began by taking the training wheels off Sean's bike, and two days later Bridget's.

Today Bridget and Sean made another milestone - "swimming for real".
They both learned to swim in the deep end of the pool today.
And if that wasn't enough, they both got up the courage, late in the day, to jump off the diving board into the deep end.
Sean REALLY wanted to do it, but just couldn't make the leap.
Bridget was sort of non-committal about her desire.
So, who should jump first?
Girrl power!
Bridget jumped first.
About 5 minutes later Sean went off the diving board.
Then he kept saying "I just can't stop jumping in".

What's next?

Tying their shoes would be nice.

On The Road Again

While I was travelling this week, I was also trying to resolve an issue/question about a Visa required for my next trip. After about the 4th day on the Visa issue, this little giggle appeared in my in box. Real or not - its funny:

Dear Sir,
I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a t.v. cable from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.

For Christ's sake, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on my social security card, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my health insurance card, my driver's license, on the last eight goddamned passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done at election times. Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Maryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!!
I apologize, I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you and me, I've had enough of this xxxxxxxx! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my xxxxxx address. What is going on? You have a gang of Neanderthal xxxxxxxx working there! Look at my damned picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for xxxx sake. I just want to go and park my xxx on a sandy beach. And would someone please tell me, why would you give a xxxx whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!

Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city and get another xxxxxxx copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of $60. Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day?? Nooooo, that'd be too damned easy and maybe makes sense. You'd rather have us running all over the xxxxxxx place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some xxxxxxx to confirm that it's really me on the goddamn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?! (xxxxxxx morons)
Hey, you know why we can't smile? We're totally pissed off! Signed - An Irate xxxxxx Citizen.
P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 . I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had security clearances up the yingyang. However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN COMMUNIST xxxxxxx CHINA!

David Pidcock
AZ Golf Bum

Batshit Crazy?

Last December, Babs posted some random thoughts and OCD kinds of things about her life - some of them really cracked me up. I got to thinking about that post whilst on a long drive today. So, I join Babs in her in quest to understand is there a difference between OCD, crazy, and full-on batshit crazy? And where do I fall on that continuum?

I have a pathological fear of thirst - I cannot get into the car, or leave the house, without a beverage. I also have a bladder the size of a teaspoon, which is incompatible with the whole thirst thing. Today, I packed 3 diet cokes and two green teas for a 3.5 hour drive. I had to use the restroom before I got past Wilmington (don't get me started on bathrooms!). Hell, maybe I'm just diabetic.

I become disoriented and unable to function when I don't have lip gloss, lip stick, or chapstick on. And I don't mean maybe! I would tear through a wall to get to chapstick if necessary. I was at dinner tonight with 3 male colleagues and could think of nothing other than how can I glop on a heap of lip gloss without looking out of place or pornographic. If I were stranded on an island and had to choose between flint and chapstick - I'd take the chapstick handsdown. I am that passionate about well-hydrated lips.


I cannot get out of bed when the numbers on the clock are anything other than 0 or 5.
6:00, 6:05, 6:10 - all o.k. - 6:04, 6:07, 6:19 NEVER!
It can sometimes take 30 minutes or more until I open my eyes on a 0 or 5.

I cannot throw out a button. I am compelled to save all buttons I find. What will I do with all these buttons - Idunno! Maybe we'll have a button-base currency some day and you will all be jealous of my button hording then.

I cannot stand dirty hands - mine or anyone elses. Dirty fingernails are the worst. Please, encourage handwashing whenever possible.

When I am on a plane, I MUST watch and listen to the whole emergency announcement given by the flight attendant - EVERY LAST WORD - failure to do so will most certainly result in a crash.

Perhaps I am only mildly touched.

Here are a few people I think are batshitcrazy:

Poster boy for why you should wear a helmet when you ride a motorcycle

Ms. Crack Is Wack herself

He is undeniably crazy and she must be too for marrying him



One word - Glitter

Yo! Its Milton Street!

Summertime. The Fish Are Jumping

... and the livin' aint easy. Yo daddy aint rich, and yo momma looks like a ball of sweat

Dang! Its hot. And everybody is sayin' so. Here are just some of the things I've heard in the last 48 hours:

In the 'hell' theme - "Its hotter than hell" "Its hotter than heck", "Its hotter than hades"

Piss made a showing with "Hotter than piss", and "Hotter than piss on tar"; closely followed by many "Holy shits, its hot"

Damn, dang, and darn were well represented; as were the muthas. I heard lots of "Hotter than a mutha" this and that.

Sin, and those who commit them, were my favorites so far. "Its hotter than blue sin" (is blue sin the hottest, like blue flame?). "Its hotter than Satan's crotch" And my favorite "Hotter than a Bangkok whore on Sunday".

Happy Birthday S and B!

Yesterday, Sean and Bridget turned six years old.

It was a hot Thursday in June the day they were born and it was a HOT Saturday in June when we celebrated their sixth birthday (97 degrees I'm told).

We had a knights and princess themed birthday - choices are limited folks when you have B/G twins and want to do the party together.

Bridget was "Lady Sand of Castle"; Sean was "Sir Money of Bags" - how appropriate for them both.

The images I captured are weak to say the least; but you have to make choices - be in the moment, or get good pix.

Gallery of pix here. Hit the >> to get past the intro, and then click on each thumbnail to see the images.

At least neither of the kids is like Adam Grossman

"Round" Is A Shape!

Therefore, I conclude, I am in shape

Received this today from Krista. An oldy, but goody (the joke, not Krista - she's a goody, just not an oldy)


Q.I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit.Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain... Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! .... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me. (exactly!)

Q: Is g getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! (I am in shape!)




AND.....For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies. 1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you

I Know Its Not Halloween

But quite frankly, we never let that stop us for indulging in costumes before.

I was cleaning up tonight and came across a stash of good stuff.

For those who may not have known Babs (Lisa), Shue (Sue), Fuzz, Cara - or the modern day freak show of friends we had in Philly - we all (ALL) like costumes. We especially liked costumes on Halloween (we'd spend WEEKS preparing); but 2-3 beers on any given afternoon or evening was all it took.

Lisa combines her too favorite holidays - Christmas and Halloween

Sue - why didn't you wear a costume for Halloween this year?

(Pregnant-drunking-smoking Shue and whoever)

Just one afternoon at my house

(Fuzz, Shue, Me, Babs)

Babs and Cara had the BEST costume parties

(I forget that freaks name, Babs, Babs sister, me, and random peeps)

Shue! Who is that?

(Shue and....)

Formal Michael Jackson Skunk?

(Cara)

Joey Bagadonuts and Vinnie Boombots

(Phil and someone. It took ~ 30 minutes for people to figure out who this was - and even then, they had to avert their gaze because it was so disturbing)

Yo! Vinnie! Get yur hands off Joey!

(I like the beer can resting on the gut)

How Rappers Create and Share Documents

Peace. Out.